Navigating the Grey Zones: A Practical Guide to Ethical Decision-Making for Mediators

Common Options in Response to a Dilemma

While the “right” choice depends on the situation, mediators often consider options such as:

• Doing nothing (rarely ideal, but sometimes appropriate).

• Reality-testing with the parties.

• Taking a break to seek advice from a mentor or colleague.

• Disclosing the dilemma to one or both parties.

• Withdrawing from the mediation.

• Reporting to relevant authorities or taking protective action.

There are many more possibilities depending on the dilemma, the stage of the mediation, and the particular circumstances. It’s important that, like we ask our mediation clients to do in mediation, we generate as many options as possible, evaluate them and then create a specific action plan. 

This is another thing I have noticed working with students in mediation training – they tend to come up with one option and work to justify it, rather than thinking about multiple and lateral options and then evaluating them. 

Also, they tend to come up with an action plan (e.g. report to the authorities) that is vague and incomplete.  For example, to whom will they report?  What will they say?  Will they identify themselves?  Will they share this decision with their parties?). In hypothetical activities we can be vague with no consequences, but in the real world we must act quickly and precisely. The more we practice precision in our hypothetical scenarios, the more we will be prepared in the event we face a dilemma in our practice.

Consequences of Acting Unethically

Potential outcomes include:

• Legal liability – rare, but possible if conduct breaches laws.

• Harm to parties or others – physical, emotional, financial.

• Complaints and sanctions from professional bodies.

• Damage to reputation – to the individual and the profession in general.

• Missed opportunities for learning if we don’t reflect and share experiences.

In reality many unethical actions go unchallenged, but that doesn’t make them harmless. The absence of consequences is not the same as the presence of integrity.

Why Practice Matters

Trying to work through these eight steps in the heat of a mediation can be difficult. That’s why it’s valuable to rehearse using hypothetical scenarios (the mediation equivalent of a fire drill)! Practising with such scenarios in training, supervision, or reflective practice groups builds your repertoire of responses and your confidence in applying them.

Building an Ethical Culture in Mediation

Ethical competence isn’t just an individual skill. It’s a cultural norm we build together. By talking openly (within confidentiality limits) about ethical challenges, we normalise the idea that dilemmas are part of practice, not a sign of failure. We also expand our collective “library” of ways to handle them.

That might mean:

• Incorporating ethical decision-making practice into professional development.

• Participating in reflective practice groups or “mediator’s dilemma” forums.

• Sharing anonymised case studies in articles, webinars, or conferences.

• Encouraging a mindset of curiosity and humility, rather than certainty.

Ethics in mediation is rarely about black-and-white rules. It’s about learning to navigate the grey zones with care, courage, and a willingness to be accountable for our choices. With a clear process, a solid grounding in principles, and regular practice, mediators can face ethical challenges with confidence and model the integrity that gives our profession its credibility.