Mediation Doesn’t Have a Marketing Problem, It Has a Clarity Problem

By Sarah Blake and Samantha Hardy

Why the world needs mediation, but clients aren’t buying in

We know the world needs mediation. The research is overwhelming: Dr Emily Skinner’s work, among others, shows that conflict is everywhere, in workplaces, communities, families, and politics. The cost to organisations and individuals is massive. And yet, despite this urgent need, uptake remains stubbornly low.

Why? It isn’t simply about money. Businesses routinely budget for lawyers, accountants, and social media consultants. But when it comes to mediation, they often expect it to be free or deeply discounted. In fact, many only say yes when it’s mandated or offered at no cost.

This disconnect tells us something important: clients don’t see mediation as relevant to them, or they don’t see its value. They don’t know how it relates to their lived reality.

And yet, those of us in the profession know just how much is at stake. We see daily how conflict erodes trust, wastes resources, damages relationships, and holds people back from what they could be achieving. Our work matters. The challenge is bridging the gap, not by preaching mediation as a professional discipline, but by learning to speak the language of the people we serve.

When we walk into a workshop or classroom, one of the first things we notice is how varied people are. Tall and short, loud and quiet, confident and hesitant. But sometimes it helps to step back from those obvious differences and look at something we rarely think about: eye colour. It’s a simple feature, but it gives us a surprisingly useful way to think about diversity, typicality, and divergence. And, as with most analogies, the more we sit with it, the more it opens up.

A personal shift: our own mediation make-overs

With nearly thirty years in this industry, we’ve lived this tension ourselves. For a long time, we explained our services in the way we were trained: by focusing on process, neutrality, and principles. It made sense to us as mediators. But it didn’t land with clients.

The turning point came when we stopped thinking like mediators about our businesses and started thinking like our clients. That shift changed everything. It gave us clarity about the clients we wanted to reach, and it gave us the financial flexibility we needed as mums raising young children.

Our mediation make-overs began with reflection:

What mattered to me?
Why was I doing this work?
Where did I want to put my energy?

Then came practice. We tested new messaging with friends, colleagues, and potential clients. We sought help. We looked outside our field for inspiration. And we practiced, over and over. It wasn’t easy. It took time, energy, and discipline to learn to listen and communicate differently.

Do we keep up with every trend on social media? No. But our measure of success was never about follower counts. For us, success has been about maintaining the dance, keeping our practice alive and aligned with what matters most. The path wasn’t simple, but it has been worth every step.

The Mediator Mirror: starting with you

Before we can communicate clearly with clients, we need to be clear with ourselves. That’s why we often invite practitioners into what we call the “Mediator Mirror.”

Reflect on these questions:

Why did you become a mediator?
How do you show up in conflict?
What difference do you want to make?
What are one or two areas you are passionate about influencing?
Would your ideal client see this in your current messaging?

This exercise reminds us that clients don’t respond to lofty principles. As Professor Elizabeth Stokoe’s research shows, clients respond to clarity. If they can’t see the value you bring, it might as well not exist.

We forget how much assumed knowledge we carry as professionals. Most people have never been taught constructive conflict resolution. Their models come from TV dramas, political debates, or workplace stand-offs. What they are looking for is practical, tangible help that makes sense in their moment of stress, frustration, or fear.

Seeing through the client lens

Mediators are often solitary practitioners. We do our work with clients, not with colleagues, which means we rarely get feedback on how we sound to outsiders. That makes exercises like the “client lens reframe” invaluable.

The challenge: pitch your services to a peer acting as a client. Let them tell you what was unclear or irrelevant. Then refine your pitch into one jargon-free sentence.

Negotiation expert Giuseppe Conti tells us: “Know your counterpart and frame early. Whoever frames first, shapes perception.” Right now, most clients’ first frame of mediation is confusion. It’s our job to change that.

From process-speak to client language

Here’s the trap: mediators talk about process, impartiality, and safe spaces. Clients want solutions, certainty, and relief.

Conti would say: stop selling service, start creating value.

Stokoe’s research shows: drop the ethos-driven language, show the steps and outcomes.

Skinner warns: without clarity, need does not equal demand.

Let’s compare what this looks like in practice.

Beginner Mediator Pitch

Problem: “When people are in conflict, communication breaks down and they can’t reach agreement.”

What I’ll Do: “I create a safe and neutral space for people to talk and help them understand each other.”

What You’ll Get: “This can help you resolve your issues and improve relationships.”

Why it doesn’t work: it’s generic and abstract. It focuses on process (“safe space”) and ethos (“neutral”), and it blends into the noise. Most importantly, it doesn’t speak to urgency or outcomes in the client’s world.

Advanced Mediator Pitch

Problem: “You’re stuck in a conflict that’s draining time, money, and energy, and nothing is moving forward.”

What I’ll Do: “I’ll run a 90-minute conversation that cuts through the deadlock, uncovers what really matters to each of you, and helps you co-create realistic options.”

What You’ll Get: “You’ll walk away with clear agreements, renewed momentum, and fewer sleepless nights.”

Why it works:

It names the pain point in the client’s language (Conti: know your counterpart).
It describes clear, concrete steps (Stokoe: clarity over ethos).
It highlights value, relief, progress, energy saved.
It speaks to the client’s reality, not the mediator’s role (Skinner: relevance drives uptake).

Other variations you might try:

“I’ll help you unpack what’s going on so you can make clear and confident decisions about the problems that have been holding you back.”
“I coordinate the difficult conversation so you can focus on reaching agreement on the steps that matter.”
“I help leaders and teams make decisions in moments of conflict, confusion, and change.”

Your homework: the three-line pitch

Here’s a simple challenge to take forward: write your own three-line pitch.

Problem: What’s the pain point in your client’s language?
What I’ll Do: What clear, tangible steps will you take?
What You’ll Get: What is the outcome, relief, or value they will walk away with?

Then test it. Share it with two non-mediators. Ask: does this make sense? If they hesitate, rework it.

Closing reflections

Mediation doesn’t have a marketing problem, it has a clarity problem. Clients aren’t uninterested. They’re just confused. They can’t buy what they don’t understand.

You already have the skills. The task is to show the world the value. That means flipping perspective: stop explaining mediation in mediator language, and start framing it in client language.

When you do, you’ll find your clients not only understand what you offer, but are willing to invest in it, because they see how it matters to them, in their moment of conflict.

References:

Stokoe, E. (2014). The Conversation Analytic Role-play Method (CARM): A Method for Training Communication Skills as an Alternative to Simulated Role-play. Research on Language and Social Interaction, 47(3), 255–265.
Stokoe, E. (2018). Talk: The Science of Conversation. Little, Brown.
Emily Skinner. (2020). A Brand New Narrative: Social Attitudes Toward Conflict Resolution and Inefficiency in Marketing and Branding. Doctoral dissertation. Nova Southeastern University. https://nsuworks.nova.edu/shss_dcar_etd/153.

You can also watch webinars presented by Emily Skinner and Elizabeth Stokoe at The Conflict Management Academy using the links below. And if you want to take your marketing / business development further, check out our online Beyond the Table course.